I’ve never been in jail. Is it worse than staying home during the pandemic? If it is, let’s do away with jails.

I’m glad Donald Trump is president. If Hillary were president, she would send all the stimulus money to the Clinton Foundation and put Bill in charge. And CNN would host a two-hour special, praising Hillary’s courageous decision to keep the stimulus funds out of the hands of peasants and deplorables, who would waste the money on trivial stuff, like groceries and diapers and rent.

Adam Schiff, who must have left his brain in a mailbox in California, claims the coronavirus got mad at us and killed 50,000 Americans because the Senate failed to kick Trump out of office. Whoa! Turn the bus around, boys! The wacko has gone wacko! If the people in Washington, D.C., had any sense, they would lock Schiff in the broom closet and slide a peanut butter sandwich under the door every other Thursday.

Nancy Pelosi wants a law forcing everyone to vote by mail. This is not good. With mail-in ballots it’s easy to steal votes. Mail ballots tend to arrive in batches of 500, all neat and tidy, with everyone voting for the same candidate, and everyone voting in alphabetical order.

People who don’t know they voted vote by mail. Dead people vote by mail. Horses and mules and John Deere tractors vote by mail. If Pelosi has her way, the mail-in ballots from the murder hornet alone will be enough to elect Democratic governors in all 50 states.

I get confused about Democrats. Most Democrats are good people. Honest. Hardworking. But Pelosi and Schumer and those northern Democrats are the meanest people on earth. Some of them are so mean and rotten and dishonest they won’t even admit they like Donald Trump!

Stay safe. Wash your hands. Don’t pick your nose.

God bless America.

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