I read an unusual but interesting commentary in the Richmond Times-Dispatch recently, from a hunter who was lauding and applauding our General Assembly for opening up additional “conservation and recreational” opportunities for Virginians by allowing Sunday hunting.
And I thought to myself, “Ahhh, hunting, what a great, wholesome, all-American recreational sport.”
Let’s see if I have the plan just right:
First, buy a hopped-up, four-wheel-drive boomer truck with a “dog box” in the back. Call all of your buddies who hunt. Load up the dogs, and we’re off.
Tune the tracking antennae on top of the truck. Put the tracking collars on the 10 tracking dogs. Grab the walkie-talkies. Grab the binoculars. When the tracking dogs pick up a scent, turn them loose to chase a beautiful black bear that belongs to all Virginians for two miles, until his tongue hangs out.
Let the dogs make him climb a tree for fear of his life.
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Now ... break out your “Big Boy Bazooka Gun” ... take aim, and blow his fracking head off. The beautiful bear will fall from the tree, and everybody, except the bear, will high-five each other.
Hang the trophy bear by his hind legs for all the world to see.
So what if the bear was walking around in the woods two hours ago ... just minding his own “dang bidness”? It’s a free country, ya know?
Mission accomplished!
What a great way to enjoy Virginia’s natural resources and the wonderful “conservation and recreational” opportunities they provide.
Yes, hunting is a great, wholesome and all-American recreational sport.
